John started this site because he got dumped by his girlfriend of four years. He doesn't have his girlfriend back yet, but he's going to document his day-by-day efforts to win her heart back, even if it takes him 19 years to do it. John take it away.
If you read yesterday's post, then you know two things about me: my girlfriend and I are broken up AND we live together. If you read yesterday's post and you're one of my neighbors, you also now know that I'm addicted to marijuana and hate all children.
Anyway, back to the broken up-living together thing.
On PBD 1 (Post Breakup Day 1), I bought flowers, candles and wine. I wrote my girlfriend a love letter and for some reason (that reason probably being I've seen Love Actually 41 times), I thought she would throw her arms around me and have me back. But it's not that simple and I know that. As you can read up top in the italics, I'm in this 'getting my girlfriend back' business for the long haul -- unless of course you don't consider 19 years a long haul, then I guess I'm in it for the short haul.
Since we live together, I can't do mushy stuff every day. It would get old fast and she would probably break up with me again. So she would breakup the breakup, which I would do too. So on PBD's 2-4, I took a less dramatic route.
For PBD's 2-4, I decided to send a song of the day. I was torn between a song of the day or sending a giant stuffed panda bear candy gram to her school. As I said, the plan wasn't to be overly dramatic every day, so I went with the 'song of the day' route. If the candy gram had come with a stuffed pregnant panda bear, I definitely would have gone that route. I love pregnant panda bears, mainly because they're taking over the Atlanta Zoo.
Anyway, I'm going to tell you what the first song I sent was. Even though its more embarrassing than admitting I've seen every episode of season 3 of Sex and the City, I'll tell you anyway.
Yup, that's 98 Degrees. So am I that lame or am I that smart. You decide. We're both from Cincinnati (like 98 Degrees) and one of our most fun trips was to San Francisco (where the video was filmed). Plus -- if you can't handle cheesiness, skip to the next paragraph -- she's been the one constant beacon of sunshine in my life since I met her over six years ago or as Nick Lachey sings, "She's my sunshine after the rain."
Now the only problem with this whole "email her a song of the day" plan is that I have no clue if she reads them or listens to them. She might delete them, she might read them, she might forward them to the FBI and have me charged with some unwritten stalker law, there's just no way to no what's going on.
Seriously Yahoo, you need to invent an f-ing button already where you can tell if someone has read an email you've sent. On the other hand, if they've already invented that, then someone needs to show me how it works.
So is the song of the day a good idea? Lets go to the girlfriend reaction gauge to find out.
Girlfriend Reaction Gauge: N/A. I can't technically score this because I don't even know if she reads the emails. For all I know, they could end up in her junk box with random penile enlargement spam and vaginal lubrication sales pitches. However, here is how I would hypothetically score it. Remember, the girlfriend reaction gauge is based on a 1-10 rating, with one being the worst.
1-3: If she checks her email, sees I wrote her something and then immediately deletes it without reading it, that would probably be a one or the worse thing that could ever happen. Kind of like the Friends spinoff Joey. A two or three would be if she read the first one or two (I've sent five over five days) and just stopped reading the rest of them after that.
4-6: A 4 or 5 would be if she reads each email, but only keeps the most recent one. This would at least mean she's still mildly interested in what I'm sending her. And no, I have not gone the Brett Favre route and sent pictures of my penis... yet.
9-10: A nine would be if she's reading them and saving them. Because keep in mind, deleting an email takes exactly one second. If she's keeping them, I'm hoping that it's for a scrapbook that's going to be entitled "Weird Things John Sent me While we were Broken Up."
So if that's a 9, what would a 10 be? Glad you asked.
A 10 would be if she's reading the emails, saving them, and then downloading the songs off of iTunes so that she can make a CD that we will listen to during our day long sexual escapade that we will undoubtedly have if we get back together. I really have my fingers crossed that it's a 10.
Did we get back together during PBD's 2-4? No. Do I still love her? You can bet your first born son's second daughter on it (that means yes). Will I try to get her back tomorrow? As long as I don't die in my sleep.
Odds of us getting back together: They're staying steady at 53 percent.
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