Why Do I Want My Girlfriend Back? Because of the 2006 NCAA Championship Game

John started this site because he got dumped by his girlfriend of four years. He doesn't have his girlfriend back yet, but he's going to document his day-by-day efforts to win her heart back, even if it takes him 19 years to do it.


Many people might be wondering, "John, she dumped you, so why do you want her back?" To answer that question, John will feature a fun, short memory, two or three times a week that will probably make you want her too. 


For most people, Monday's suck, but not for me.


In the early months of 2006, Monday was absolutely my favorite day. The plan with  my girlfriend was simple: watch 24 from 9-10 p.m. and take shots of tequila every time Jack Bauer killed someone, sing Karaoke at a bar from 11 until close [pictured below] and then head home for a bedroom party where clothes were optional. It was perfect every week. 

As you can plainly see, John can't sing and Melissa can't dance, well, except for the horizontal mambo.

On Monday, April 3, 2006, there was a change of plans. Our friend Brad called up and said he had two extra tickets to the NCAA Championship game (UCLA vs. Florida). I didn't even have to ask Melissa if she wanted to go, she was practically in the car ready to leave for Indy before I even got off the phone. I hadn't seen her that eager to do anything since the first time we slept together. 


Now that I think about it, I probably should have put a ring on her that night. Not many girls in the world will drive two hours on a whim to go to a game involving two teams that neither of you care about. 


We had exactly $200 in our pockets (the tickets were $150 for both, so really we had $50), and about 99 ideas for fun things to do when we got there. The only problem is that 98 of those things cost money. We briefly entertained the idea of selling our 1997 Honda Civic, but the highest offer we got was $19. 


Since neither of us were fans of either team, on the way to Indianapolis we decided that Mel would be a Florida fan and I would be a UCLA fan. My thought process was that most of the female students at Florida are hot, so Melissa would fit right in. On the other hand, I have a latino look, so we knew I would fit right in as a UCLA fan (That's right UCLA, we're all thinking it, 91 percent of your student body is latino). 

If John looks fat in this picture, it's because in 2006, he ate only cheetos and Taco Bell. He has since changed his diet. If Melissa looks great in this picture, it's because she looks great in every picture. 

Oh, and to prove we were fans of our respective teams, we had to buy t-shirts. T-shirts are not cheap at the Final 4. After we hit the t-shirt stand, our $50 budget was quickly down to $10.  Melissa's t-shirt was a kids extra small and probably cost 12 cents to make, but they still charged her $20. 


Although the game ended up sucking horribly (Florida won in a blowout), we still had a ton of fun. We took our $10 we had left and bought some popcorn, which in hindsight, was actually stupid because our car only had two-fifths of a tank of gas left. But that's how we've always operated, we were the Clint Eastwoods of fun. Eastwood would "shoot first and ask questions later," whereas Melissa and I would "have fun now, figure things out later." 


We sat in the top row of the RCA Dome. If you've never watched basketball live in a Dome, it's like watching grasshoppers have sex: you have no clue what's going on. Melissa made friends with the old people sitting next to us. By the time the game was over, Melissa was such good friends with them, that to this day, I am 99 percent certain that she's in their will. 


We bet a bottle of liquor on the game, so obviously, as the UCLA fan, I lost. Then I demanded a double or nothing bet on what time we would get back to Cincinnati. I lost that too. I then wanted a triple or nothing bet on how many people died in the episode of 24 that we missed, but Melissa told me to shut up and buy her two bottles that she had just won. 


So we ended up missing 24 and missing Karaoke, but we made it home in time for the most important thing: the bedroom party. 


Hopefully, there's another one of those in my future. 


The 2006 NCAA Championship is only one of a million reasons why I want my girlfriend back. 









(Questions? Comments? Do you want your girlfriend back? Email, IWantMyGirlfriendBack at yahoo.com)