If you've ever been dumped and then done stupid things to get your girlfriend back, you should probably bookmark this site.
Dumping is the worse part of being in a relationship. Think about it, it's called dumping for a reason. All dumping is bad and most of it can hurt. Whether you're letting out a dump on the toilet, being dumped by your girlfriend, or being run over by a dump truck, there's never a good time to be dumped. The only good kind of dumping is when you're girlfriend does it on your chest.
There are about 974 different types of breakups and dumpings, because we don't want to write 1,985 pages worth of material, we're only going to look at three today:
First, there's the Tiger Woods breakup, you know, where your wife chases the car you're driving with a 9-iron because you cheated on her with 122 different women. This one isn't too common, but the lesson to be learned is: cheating with 122 different women is usually a bad idea.
There's the "it's not you, it's me breakup" that George Constanza mastered in the 90's. If you go sit in a Starbucks for 12 straight hours today, there is a 94 percent chance you'll hear this. People love breaking up at Starbucks. If any Starbucks big wigs are reading, you need to nickname your coffee shops 'the breakup capitals of the world' and then promote accordingly. You guys are sitting on a goldmine.
Finally, there's the "we've had our ups and downs, but I think we've had too many downs lately, so I'm going to dump you for a koala bear who is a better cuddler and only slightly less better looking." This one hurts a lot and is the reason why Australian trips are a bad idea.
